Long before “The Home Security System and the Lipid Neighborhood,” there were stories about Comb the Hamburger Bun Alien. Why would a Hamburger Bun Alien share a name with a common grooming tool? Because beneath the blonde-bowl cut of Comb’s…
“What’s your favorite holiday?” “Well, it’s a toss-up between Arbor Day and Columbus Day, but I’m going with the Smallpox Smuggler!” –No one ever Today is Columbus Day, a Day of Resentment among many working parents for having to creatively…
Many years ago, two young businessmen became next-door neighbors. Each man inherited a small house with a significant plot of land. The first businessman was intent on ascending the Corporate Ladder and quickly became very successful. After a few years,…
My daughter’s mind is a Cauldron of Curiosity, and when she was super young, she perpetually peppered questions at a rate of roughly 678 Inquiries Per Hour. And whether it was due to fatigue, ignorance, or inability to interpret the…
As I was foraging for Lipid Literature this morning, I stumbled across a short article claiming that “Squirrels Land Like Superheroes.” I love a good squirrel, but as much as I wanted to believe that they gracefully land in the…
This week, we celebrate Inferiority. We recognize the 2nd Class Citizens. We commemorate the champions of the Consolation Bracket. And we shed a tear for those poor patients who “were forced to see the PA instead of the Doctor.” But…
“Coach, those new sunglasses are TOUGH!” I had actually found these “new shades” underneath my car seat because one of the other kids had accidentally stepped on my usual, “apparently not-as-tough” pair. So I initially thought this “compliment” was actually…
Derek’s recent performance on the Baseball Diamond had been rather abysmal. Instead of keeping his eye on the ball, his eye had been perpetually drifting toward the blonde, Abercrombie-clad Jersey Chaser in the stands. She had recently taken a liking…
People on Power Trips are the worst, and I have encountered many of these people over the years. And on more than one occasion, I have attempted to engage in respectful discourse with these individuals. However, these interactions generally lead…
As I try to observe and encourage my runners at various points on the course, I typically run between 5 and 6 miles on Meet Days…as the Cross Country Coach! But after a few hours out on the course this…
