People often ask me for dietary advice, and after half-jokingly telling them I subsist on cottage cheese and Greek yogurt and it seems to work for me, I usually say, “Prioritize Protein, Eat Real Food.” There are multiple dietary strategies that can optimize your metabolic Home Security System and your Lipid Neighborhood…the Standard American Diet (SAD) just isn’t one of them!

And when we elaborate on the concept of “Real Food,” we often discuss that bags of Doritos are not harvested in Thailand and then freshly imported to Walmart. No one drives through Krispy Kreme and thinks, “Yes, today I am REALLY making progress toward that New Year’s Resolution.” And intuitively, when you grab that corn dog, you aren’t wondering whether or not this is “eating clean.”

But sometimes, my low expectations for the food industry must be recalibrated to even greater degrees of subterranean SADness. Because RANCH MILKSHAKES are on the menu at Fatburger in Dallas. (I commend this fast food chain for their complete lack of pretentiousness). Not only can green-speckled cream dip serve as a co-conspirator with other fried abominations…you can now simply drink it through a straw!

Pancreatitis comes in many flavors, and, for a limited time, is now available in ranch! When your blood looks like your favorite dairy beverage, it’s time to see a Lipid Specialist…I’m here for you