Oftentimes people will meet me and ask the question, “What is your wife like?” I figure they’re rightfully intrigued that someone would willingly marry The Academic Platypus…and then gladly renew the subscription every year!

And then those LUCKY PEOPLE who have met my wife AND me often ask the question, “What are your conversations like?”

My wife’s combination of razor-sharp wit, comedic timing, and stunning looks would put all the “influencers” to shame if she wanted to gain a superficial and superfluous Social Media following, so people think that our conversations must be a miraculous elixir of erudition and hilarity that could forever save the world from being super dumb and lame.

Well, prepare to be disappointed…but here is a sample of our “intellectual dialogue” on a random Tuesday after dropping our daughter off at school:

Me: Remember when Jack in the Box attempted a “re-brand” as JBX Grill? As if midnight munchies for ceramic tacos had suddenly become an activity for employed adults?

Christa: Those were some wild times…JBX Grill was EDGY. (We see a Sonic on the side of the road). At least Sonic doesn’t try to pretend it’s being healthy. Hey, this is a good topic! Is there any food that’s so terrible it would make you eat a Sonic chili cheese dog instead?

Me: Nothing readily comes to mind, since I value my health, my reputation, and my currently active streak of not puking.

Christa: Nope, you don’t have a choice…how about French fries? Or those butter milkshakes? A standard straw can’t even handle THE THICKNESS…you have to use a spoon!

Me: I refuse to genuflect to the corrupt “system,” and moral compromise tastes like French fries, butter shakes and hot dogs. I bow the knee to God alone!

Brilliant stuff, right? You’re welcome