Many of you have heard me rap about Cholesterol and Cardiovascular Disease at various conferences and meetings (and stay tuned for my current work-in-progress, which is a “Guidelines Paradise” that pays homage to both Coolio and the 2026 Cholesterol Guidelines in the near future).  And my first hip-hop group was called OTP (Overcome the Persecution), but I feel like it’s time to adopt a new stage name, particularly given that my current projects are about Lipid Biochemistry.

So Ladies and Gentleman, please allow me to re-introduce myself as L.P. Lil’ Jay.  And just to eliminate any confusion about my stage name and atherogenic LDL-like particles, please see the handy chart below:

Lp(a)	L.P. Lil’ Jay
Independent risk factor for cardiovascular disease	Independently associated with having a good time
Proinflammatory	Only regarded as proinflammatory by those with Autoimmune Insecurity Syndrome
Prothrombotic	Known for sick flows when rapping about lipids
Discovered in 1963 by Kare Berg	Discovered in 1986 by parents Kerry and Dirk
Its quantity is dictated by production rate, and attempts to enhance its clearance from the body have been futile	Attempts to eliminate his prolific artistry are quickly overcome by his production rate
Seems to be involved with wound healing	Always happy to lend a listening ear when life hurts
Resembles plasminogen	At times, his hair resembles Rob Lowe’s
Mean levels vary by ethnicity	Loves everyone regardless of ethnicity
Low-molecular weight isoforms tend to be the most problematic when it comes to cardiovascular disease risk	This low-molecular weight isoform is only problematic for those with fragile egos
Carries oxidized phospholipids	Carries a strong sense of responsibility to help people in academia not take themselves too seriously
Recommended to be checked at least once in a lifetime	Recommended to meet him at least once in a lifetime

Hopefully this is helpful!