I’m all about building Champions of Vocabulary, and some of America’s Youth will admit that (obligatorily) hanging out with me does come in handy when taking the verbal portion of the SAT.  But more often than not, my decorative diction falls on deaf ears and I just end up learning the latest and not-so-greatest slang from the kids.

Recently, I learned that Gen Alpha is adding “maxxing” as a progressive suffix to pretty much all the real words that they know.  And from what they tell me, this suffixx instantly catapults otherwise suboptimal slop to a state of transcendence!

And if Maxxing of various flavors helps us overcome mediocrity, then I’m all for it. And if incorporating some of the kids’ vocabulary into my world helps me connect with them, then I’ll do it.  But I’m not really into Gymmaxxing for the sake of Looksmaxxing or any of the superficial pursuits of youth.  I’m well past my prime, and at my age, I have much more practical priorities, like staying warm.

So here I am Blanketmaxxing.  Only a truly humble Sigma can take cozy to this level of Rizz without Mogging all the Beta Blanket Noobs.  

Grab a blanket and an Urban Dictionary, Millennial Parents… it’s your only hope of translating the unintelligible vernacular of Gen Alpha.  At least when I write you can just use a real dictionary!