Given the recent wildfires and poor air quality, this morning’s Family Breakfast Banter naturally led to a discussion about Smokey Bear. I’ve always known that only I can prevent Forest Fires, but I was today years old when I learned that his name is not Smokey THE Bear. “Bear” is apparently his last name. 

And after pondering the purpose of his shovel and pants, my wife said, “Smokey is kind of hot.”  I figured she was just making a play on words given Smokey’s association with fire. She never has really preferred hairiness or hibernation…but maybe that shovel had unearthed some dormant repressed passions. We’ll need to clarify some things later. 

But then, my daughter asked the burning question:

“If Smokey is doing his job, then why do we have forest fires?”

I nodded solemnly. It was time to tell her the truth about the new ursine mascot for this generation. I wish it was different, and I hope we can bring back Smokey’s shovel and bury this guy’s influence eventually. But parents, only you can prevent this punk from vaporizing the otherwise bright futures of your kids. Good luck!