A hapless nomad, weary from his wanderings, arrived at an unusual cemetery.  Each row of tombstones created a path to a different church.  In past eras, graveyards were owned and maintained by local church congregations, but the presence of multiple worship sites at one funerary plot piqued the pilgrim’s curiosity.

He squatted down to read the epitaph on the first tombstone:

Keto Kevin

LDL Cholesterol of 540

Carnivore to the End

Perplexed, the nomad looked to the next row of graves and saw this:

Statin Steve

ApoB of 20

Myalgias and Death are a Nocebo Effect

“Well, I’m definitely not going to those churches,” thought the pilgrim as he walked over to the next row of tombstones.

Agnostic Adam

The only thing he knew is that he didn’t know anything

Hashtag Humility

The nomad was certain that no satisfying answers awaited him at that monastery, and he quickly bypassed several more rows of epitaphs that paid homage to hedonism, intellectualism, and scantily researched peptides.

Discouraged by the morbidly hopeless environment and tempted to walk away from this bizarre cemetery, he came to the final row of tombstones.

Sam the Servant

A faithful friend who always left you better off than he found you

“Jesus said, ‘I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.”

John 11:25-26

Laying down his oppressively burdensome pack, he walked into the church at the end of the final tombstone row.  His spirits lifted, he felt that his journey had ended…while another adventure was just beginning😊