I haven’t been able to rotate my neck for the last day and a half.

My original thought was to play it off like I was just pretending to be Michael Keaton’s Batman…Batman was still cool back in 1989, right?  He single-handedly made rotating your entire body to talk to people rather than simply turning your head at least somewhat acceptable.  But then the Costco cashiers thought it was weird that I was using the “I just gargled with marbles” voice and most of the Gen Alphas hadn’t even seen Christian Bale’s version, let alone the Classic 80s rendition. So I was forced to tell the truth.

I was doing clean and jerks at the gym…nothing out of the ordinary.  And my neck randomly froze into a torticollis tortilla of carne con pena.  Our ibuprofen supply has dwindled drastically over the past 24 hours, and my driving privileges have been temporarily revoked.

And my wife, blessed saint that she is, attempted to help me with some DIY chiropractic care…and injured her right shoulder in the process.

Even superheroes get old, so I guess there’s really no hope for the rest of us.  Say a prayer for Gotham City…and the Wagemans😊