Very few people know what I really do for work, which is fine…it helps me maintain that “Edgy Mystique,” which, as the kids say, adds to my aura.  And I’m pretty useless at most normal adult tasks, which becomes painfully evident every time I try to change a light bulb.

But “PE Teacher” is one of the few jobs where I think I could have performed with a reasonable level of competency.  Give me an old closet filled with broken hockey sticks, assorted balls, and busted fragments of various pipes, and I’ll probably come up with a few terrible games, 12 pretty good ones, and 5 EPIC COMPETITIONS that kids will still be reminiscing about when they’re adults with real jobs!

And even though I’ve come up with some pretty innovative activities during my tenure in Youth Ministry, I’m pretty sure that Dodgeball is the greatest game in world history.  Over the years, when kids would complain and grumble about the rules of a novel Josh Game or accuse me of “cheating” because I was stronger, faster, and better at Lipid Biochemistry than them, we would simply pack up the other equipment and roll out the Gator Skin Dodgeballs.  Before shoulder surgeries and rotator cuff tears, I was capable of “bringing the heat” on the baseball diamond…and the cheddar could still be served when the menu called for an Attitude Adjustment.

The disrespect would quickly shift to terrified reverence with each high-velocity missile. The steady stream of disgruntled grumbling would evaporate into somber silence.  And those other games didn’t seem so bad after they were pelted into perspective with Gator Skins of gratitude.

And it got me thinking…what if the Israelites had played Dodgeball in the wilderness?  Maybe Korah would have reconsidered his rebellion if Moses had been able to nail him with a Divine Dodgeball. And I bet Moses would have relished pummeling his own brother with a fusillade of foam balls after Aaron questioned his authority. Dare to complain about manna and quail? Instant bombardment, even on the Sabbath!  No headshots, though.

Then again, I guess they used giant rocks to stone those guilty of capital crimes. And you would think that earthquakes, fire, plagues, and snakes would be pretty strong deterrents for ungrateful petulance.  And yet, they continued to be a “stiff-necked and obstinate people” prone to whining and worldliness. 

Ultimately, even a Dodgeball to the chest can’t provide a lasting remedy for a hard heart. But a proper reverence for God coupled with a thankful perspective makes the Game of Life a much more enjoyable experience😊