Although I’m a Lipid Specialist, I’m always on the lookout for any medical articles that could potentially help people optimize their health.  And for those of you whose spouse or significant other ever tells you that you “Look Delicious,” THIS ARTICLE about the health risks of cannibalism may have some important implications for your relationship.  Apparently eating other people has some potential downsides…whoda thunk?!

But let’s say that your husband is a “Sugar Daddy” or a “Meaty Hunk.”  And maybe your wife is quite the “Cutie Cupcake.”  The researchers acknowledge that eating him or her would be “an average meal from a caloric perspective.”  But maybe think twice…even if you cook your partner properly, it won’t eliminate prions, which are basically zombie apocalypse undead misfolded demon proteins that will give you a fatal neurologic disease where your brain turns into Swiss cheese.  (This is what happens in Mad Cow Disease and Kuru).  Seems pretty risky…maybe just go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch.

Still unconvinced that you shouldn’t take a bite out of your Stud Muffin?  Thankfully, the researchers developed a mathematical model showing that long-term cannibalism leads to population collapse. Because apparently when you eat people, they die. And then YOU die from a prion disease. And then when everyone dies, the population ends up decreasing.  Hooray for science!

Even in this age of medical misinformation, it’s refreshing to see that good research is still being conducted. So whoever you are, I’d encourage you to drink from the chalice of knowledge rather than guzzle your Thirst Trap, no matter how tempting he or she may be😊